genderfcukbel's Journal

9:53AM

The lesbian  separatist.
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I am Straight! I am Gay! Oh shit I am Bi!
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The famous saying, ‘That’s So Gay!’
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Genderfuck and the Genderqueer
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The Culture of the Leathermen

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Gay Bar! A place of buisness NOT a local drop in centre! or is it?

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6:05PM

Why We Love Children

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I p*ssed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT???' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,'explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.'

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said,
'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''


4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm
A mother was tucking her son into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
'The big sissy.'


5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,
'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
'Yes, and my Mom says it's a b*tch to iron.'

6. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said;
'The sky is falling in, the sky is falling in!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said;

'Holy Sh*t - a talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

1:19PM - Elections, Sick and holidays over

I am glad the election has been called finally it’s about bloody time it was like Howard was putting it off just to give us all the shits. I start back at work on Monday on the plus side Domestic Goddess has returned home from her trip to melb and syd. On the down side I am stuck in the house sue to a nasty cold that has well as truly arrived and even my eyes where glued together this morning so nope no more going out for me and crap I can not call in sick this week so I am hoping it's a short little punishment for perhaps over doing it on my holidays. People wine and bitch about Perth but hey I think it’s possible to have fun anywhere with the right peoples in the right mood. Okay so it is Pride Month, but hey Perth's party season starts in October and follows through till about Feb generally.

3:05PM - Du Drunk on life

Yep that’s how I would explain the last six months. Having energy and being able to go do stuff is just intoxicating. Like most drunks at times I do not know when enough is enough. I just came from a shift of work and my second job on four hours sleep and losing my voice which was interesting being a call centre job. On the up side political surveys you can do in your sleep. So now i am very tired and a touch manic so I am thinking I should have some quite time before the weekend before I burn the candle out. The key words are ‘think and should’ I am also think I should be at least 20kg lighter and be financially stable…. Well we can only try.

12:05AM - Shit I am being chased by someone I don’t remember flirting with.

I am finding myself in a situation I don’t normally well…
Short version – Shit I am being chased by someone I don’t remember flirting with. And oh I do mean chased. I normally do not hesitate as much as I am with this one. It’s usually a clear simple yay or nay and the moment it’s a not today.

6:26PM - Digging for veins.

I knew I was nervous about today but I guess I didn’t know by how much until I walked threw the entrance in G block at Charlie gardener hospital and the sickening stench of hospital hit me. With the combination of sights and smells I was instently transported back to last year and I didn’t like it one bit. I should have brought someone with me so I didn’t get too panicked but hey I keep on thinking I am big strong and tough I can handle this. Plus I really don’t want to drag my friends into the realm of waiting rooms and seeing me all fragile. I think I have spent this year trying to convince everyone I am all good most of all my self. Arh the power of positive thinking nothing really happened today while i was getting my Ct scan done. It’s more that it messes with my head, plus I have really really really crap veins and only true heroes seem to be able to find them. But they keep on trying hit and miss and mostly its miss. Its okay when the needle goes in, cool when it’s your inner elbow. It’s when they stop and start digging around that it kills and when they try you hand and do the same again. Last time it was bad it took a nurse two times then a doctor another three shots and then they called the magical anaesthetists who have the almighty power and where not talking taking a wee bit of blood needles nope we are talking lets put some radioactive dye directly into your veins needle size.

So I am sitting in the waiting room and drinking the damn contrast fluid thinking of ways to distract myself from the old and young sick people and the fact I still recognise most of the orderlies. And I start calling, messaging and generally bugging people. Luckily I have a few numbers in my phone otherwise I really would have bugged you all. In the end I pulled out a Lotol mag you know the NSW free Dyke mag and attempt to read it in then I thought hey lets just leave it with all the women’s day mags in the hope it may entertain another or jolt them up a bit. Then I walked in for the dreaded needle moment and yep it happened again no vein cal down a doc still no vein put arms in water still no vein???
While this was going on I started to tell entertaining stories to the doc so I told one about my friend Katie from last year who was 22 and had a 18 months old son and hubby. Katie was a tiny girl a fellow chemo patient who was facing her third bout of leukaemia. I was reminded of her by the thought of all the bruises I will have on my arm tomorrow. Anyway one day while out and about she jumped into a TAXI the guy driving turned around and looked her up and down with her bald head and extremely bruised arms and said ‘I don’t take heron addicts.’ Which is so what the fuck I am a chemo patient but he refused to take her and she had to find another TAXI. The last fucking thing you want to do when you get so tired that getting dressed requires a nap afterwards. So I was thinking back about Katie and it made me smile, entertained the doc and distracted me from the digging of the needle. After he walked out after giving up and deciding I don’t need the contrast dye that much. I kind of kept thinking of Katie and my other mate Ross(60 old dude) who also had Lukemiea. They where both two special people and we made each other smile when we where in some seriously shitty moments let alone pain baby pain. It hurts to know they are both dead especially knowing how hard they fought to be here and how many people and kids they leave behind. I was thinking how they would laughing right with me as the damn needles are digging around trying to find the bloody elusive vein for the hundredth time. How they would be both angles where ever they are.

3:34PM

which one of the 7 deadly sins are ye? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Luxuria (Lust) Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts sometimes lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, adultery, bestiality, and rape. Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. However, lust and love are two different things; while a genuine, selfless love can represent the highest degree of development and feeling of community with others in a human relationship, Lust can be described as the excessive desire for sexual release. The other person can be therefore seen as a "means to an end" for the fulfillment of the subject's desires, and becomes thus objectified in the process. In Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts. Luxuria (Lust) 90% Gula (Gluttony) 80% Avaritia (Greed) 70% Superbia (Pride) 60% Invidia (Envy) 60% Acedia (Sloth) 60% Ira (Wrath) 30%

3:29PM

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three. Captain Jack Sparrow 75% Maximus 71% Batman, the Dark Knight 71% The Amazing Spider-Man 67% Indiana Jones 67% El Zorro 67% William Wallace 67% James Bond, Agent 007 67% Neo, the "One" 63% The Terminator 58% Lara Croft 54%

6:10PM - Last night as I was doing my hair and...

I am mentally shattered at the moment I scared my self and on reflect with the light of day and clear logic well what should be easily patched together seems still rather shattered.

Last night as I was doing my hair I found tenderness in the lumps (glands ) in the back of my head and was for a moment calmly concerned. I called Ross as he was the least likely to freak out and guaranteed to tell me to chill. Which he did over the phone and later on. It was in the car when I was driving to dinner with my cousin that I pretty much had a panic attack and started to get a little angry.

Not cool and seriously scared myself.

Later with the cold voice of reason, it was explained to me that it mostly likely due to the extra dose of exercise I did on Friday that made my glands swell and get a bit tender. Which chilled the panic down a great deal I am having my CT scan and tests on oct 10 anyway which should make sure.

Unfortunately it hasn’t done much to dispel my illogical unease I think my confidence is a little shattered at the moment. I am feeling fragile. So perhaps going to fairday today wasn’t such a good idea. I talked to many people I wanted to see and others I would have been happy not seeing. Luckily for me it is generally more of the former I speak too.

I v’e come home to recharge and I will head out again tonight hopefully to the e court and then to climax. Which I am sad to say not many of my mates are going to but oh well. I can just dance all night and end up being surrounded by half naked men and sweat. This may be a good thing as I have flirted with too many sweet young grrls today all 18 and over offcourse. I think I will wear my collar tonight so I feel protected.

So the short of it sorry if I was weird toady and this maybe the reason why.

7:26PM - another mental scream day

Hi all

I warn you it’s been another mental scream day and it’s making up a complete set for the week. Though tomorrow at work we have a wellness PD day with no kids so hopefully I tie up a few lose ends.

Work has been overwhelming stressful due to numerous factors. It makes me realise that I am only in my first year of teaching at the moment I mean I only taught term 1 last year so I have been free styling it since term 2 so by the end of term 3 the year 12’s are in the process of ending followed quickly by year 11’s. There’s the paper work side. Getting ready for the big fan fare let’s impress the community with a limited budget art exhibition. First week back next term. I could go on but I am bored already.

Then at home I am oh so happy to say Maria has moved in and all is sweet. We have put plans in place so to make sure we don’t lose our 9 year friendship. Step one is to make sure we do different social stuff and not so much in each other’s pockets. AND so we don’t have to explain to people that No we aren’t a couple and In fact we are so not a couple due to Maria being we so bloody straight. We are though very conscious that our friendship has well and truly out lasted any of our relationships so in some way we are a pseudo couple who are very platonic. It is nice to say honey I am home how was your day? And talking well as we are both teachers school/work. Shit I just realised I was talking in the ‘we’ context.

Some adjustments will be have to be made when we have visitors who stay over and make loud noises in bed rooms - Like not being in the house at the same time. This was never much of a problem with my little brother and John. But the three of us had been living together for four years so we had a certain amount of comfort with each other.

Which brings me to my oh so sad heart rending news. My little baby brother the only brother I could ever cope with living with as adults out of the four bro's. The brother who looked after me last year so much.. well all the brothers did. He and his girl Tarah are moving out into their own place just down the road but!!!!. I don’t like it. It’s too much dramatic change in one hit. Plus he is taking the fridge with and damn it I might have to actually own another household item that has a practical function grounding me to suburbia. It’s like he is growing up and leaving home:(

Then there is the almighty drag show which I and others have so much evil planning to do. Yet such evil ideas are already well on the cards. Unfortunately two people who where originally interested have pulled out due to other commitments so I need to find some more suitable drag kings to fill the gaps. But I seem I have the main crew involved. I am mainly looking for the numbers a few more that I can trust to show up and put effort into it to make the evil plans shine. It’s only one show and I really want to do it and do it fucking brilliant like. But it kind of feels like the same level of stress when I was convener of QC 2005. this is when I realise that it’s going to be a long time before I am fully functioning like before doing three million things at once. Okay perhaps I do exaggerate a tad I wasn’t that good and I has A LOT of people helping me back then.

And then I was going to tell you something else but some news is just too juicy for an LJ post. Lets say a certain friend is looking after Queen Bella extremely well.

Ta Ta

Oh and YAYAY school holidays!!!!!!!!! Pride Month!!!!!!! Party this weekend !!! and for the next two weeks!!!!!!! with no cash:( - oh well - PARTY

9:11AM

I miss JAne in cyber land !!!!!!!!!!

7:49AM - The silly cheeky grin is back - work dramas differed for the moment

A little birdie sent me a message that has cheered me up and left a silly grin on my face for the pure cheek of it. I do so love my friends.

4:57PM

Drive a road train mad max style

You scored as Super Strength, You have super strength, nothing is too heavy for you to deal with! </td> Light Controller 100% Super Strength 100% Premonition 100% Phase Shift 88% Teleportation 88% Super Speed 75% Pyrokinesis 75% Telekenesis 75% Illusionist 75% Telepath 50% Healer 50% Shapeshifter 50% Animal Communication 50% Force Field 25% What is your power based on your personality? created with QuizFarm.com

11:07AM - Writer's Block: (like juggling chainsaws)

Drive a road train mad max style

12:42PM - Career Matchmaker- Stolen from everyone else

1. Go to www.careercruising.com
2. Put in Username: nycareers Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results

1. Director
Very Good Match (done that)

2. Set Designer
Good Match (done that)

3.Costume Designer
Good Match (done that)

4. Music Teacher / Instructor
Very Good Match (will end up doing that)

5.ESL Teacher
Very Good Match (Done that and Trained)


7. Special Effects Technician (not done that)
Good Match

8. Actor
Very Good Match (done that)

9. Desktop Publisher
Fair Match (kinda done that)

10. Animator
Good Match (got to teach that)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


13.Computer Trainer (do that)
Very Good Match



15. Director of Photography (havn't done that)
Very Good Match

16. High School Teacher (do that)
Very Good Match


18.Professor
Very Good Match ( want to do that)


22.Comedian
Very Good Match (done that)

23.Casting Director
Very Good Match (Done that)


25.Artist
Very Good Match (am that)



31.Psychologist
Very Good Match (untrained but end up doing that)


33.Makeup Artist
Very Good Match (done that)


35.Curator
Very Good Match (Still do that)

2:42PM - MisS ToxiC

Okay. In Nov it's my b'day and I want to celebrate it big time to make up for last years chemo fuck up. I am thinking a Private Party in a club or my place. That’s a little bit Kink and leather a must -MisS ToxiC'. Or paintball. Any suggestions?

1:54PM - Sept 3rd Day One of dreaded Art week.

(sorry guys for the stuff up with the posting was very tired i guess)

Well I woke up and left the house as planned and rocked up at the school this morning to the deserted school at 6.50am ready to set up the Art Installation that for some stupid reason I had the idea for and said I would do. So besides the grounds staff there was just me for a while trying to get things up and running. And man was I swearing to myself kicking myself in the but for deciding to do three of the damn things. But luckily Liz also a exec and head of the Arts department came along to rescue me and help me set up as well as Jimbo the lad and one of the grounds men Ian. Things started looking good. Though remind me never ever decide to do a Christo influenced tree wrapping. Though it can look cool it’s just not worth the effort and I can see why he went so large scale with it otherwise it can look like you’ve just covered the car up for winter.



The Belinda Cooper inspired 2 meter squared pegged of grass area was a cheeky one that defiantly made the kids scratch there heads with the ‘Keep of the Grass’ signs and ‘you have been visually attacked by JWACS art week.’ It was called the Proper Lawn.



Then I finally after a year put together my large scale clay abstract chess set that I started before that whole ‘I was sick’ ordeal last year. We stencilled white sand on the grass in a chess board pattern that looked very effective on the grass. Then we laid out the Chess pieces.



What amazed me is how fellow staff and students started helping me out with the set up with out asking and getting involved. The Non-art kids who never got art, even began to engage in the experience in there own way as spectators. Then they started asking, ‘Why is this art? I offcourse retuned the rebuttal ‘What is art? And Why isn’t this art?’ are yes 300-500 brains started thinking at 8.30am before school even started and the questions and arguments kept on coming through out the day. Even more surprising the kids didn’t damage any of the installations well much. Considering what could have happened but I was prepared for that.



One of the other teachers lent me some of there students to take it all down which in a post-modern way was just as much entertainment visually. The kids asked why only one day. I thought one day made it special and unique and set the usually Monday apart from others. I think If it had stayed up any longer it would have lost its’ impact.



The only problem with impressing the executive team at the school that they wanted me to do stuff like this more often and I am think crap this was enough stress. I think once a year kind of thing is enough. Anything more I will turn into a terms project, though the only problem with that is the risk of disaster. It’s a lot easier when you can control; all the factors yourself.



At the end of the day I was one tired puppy who still had her very bad chest infection. Next night year 11 dance then the Arts night extravaganza with music acting dance and drawing.

4:00PM - It is Friday Isn't it???

I just had to think for a good long hard five minutes about how if today is Friday then yesterday must have been Thursday and I can’t remember what I did yesterday. I had a total blank between Wednesdays and today.

I am so well stressed about art week starting at school on Monday and how I have to get the three art installations up by 8am before school and how I am going to put it all together let alone the Tuesday year 11 dinner dance and the Wednesday Art night with the life drawing extravaganza. And the list goes on. I think my brain is just buzzing with my thing's to do list. A bit like back in the day when i was doing 05QC.

The weekend seems like an inconvenient bump in my planning and organisation as well as me being rather sick with a chest infection that doesn’t seem to want to go away. I fear I am too ill to go out tonight even to drive to the pub to see my old Guild House flat mate Hua who has just flown into Perth from Canberra. I will have to call her.
Yes and it is MICH B' 30th B'Day tomorrow so call her. She can't even celebrate with a good drink or too due to her well expecting a little girl in DEC. YAYA!!!

8:48PM

ok i now ummm right i freaking out!!!

one of my ex- students just added me and had my genderfuck poster pic up so he i am well and truely out already but that didn't matter.... so i added thinking she was an ex student and one of my work mates had added her as well so i was thinking it should be ok. then i freaked and went and deleted a heap up stuff of my facebook. u know those extra details about certin kinks and things like which groups i am a member off and so on.

and change back my profile pic to this one and well ... crap she can see a limited profile that should be enough....
oh well

drama !!! it aint that important and hey there is a teacher shortage they can fire me. if they want crap

will freak less tomorrow i am sure ...

so laugh with me please as i get paranoid

7:04PM

Ok I soooo need to clean my room this house everything!! So someone please give the motivation!!!!!!